While dating men with children, I didn’t take into account certain things thoroughly discussed in the chapters of the book.For instance, I wasn’t used to being someone’s second priority and having to schedule dates around a custodial calendar.The idea of a boy who never grows up is promoted and even romanticized in our culture as sexy or just “the way men are.” Sadly, women often pay the price for such a prize because there are consequences to keeping this type of “man” in check. This may partly explain why men, by and large, benefit more from marriage than do women.Marriage brings most men greater happiness, better physical health, and more wealth than their bachelor counterparts.
The kids are engaged, at least on some level, even when you don’t think they are.So yesterday, Deesha and I sat down to lunch–we ate our favorite Thai food and discussed our not so favorite topic–co-parenting through problems and over obstacles.I asked her what six things should women know when dating men with children. If a man says, my child’s mother won’t let me see my kids, dig deeper, because while the family court system is broken, sometimes men say they aren’t allowed see their children when they haven’t sought parenting time through a judge.Women, on the other hand, can’t take for granted that they will reap these same benefits—whether women benefit from marriage or long-term partnership is dependent upon the of the partnership.Consider if you are dating someone you will have to carry along in life instead of a real partner you can depend upon.Dating Man with Kid and Feeling Left Out - Question & Answer I'm dating a man with kids.How do I get over the feeling neglected part of it?I should preface this by telling you that I've been there and done that—I dated a man who later became my husband when his kids were teenagers (and pretty angry about their parents' break-up).Dating Man with Kid Advice The approach to dating a man with kids and overcoming feelings of neglect is three-fold. Notice any feelings of estrangement as they occur and own them.When you feel neglected, reflect on your feelings and ask yourself if you've been in this situation before—for instance, did you feel left out when you were growing up in your family of origin?Sometimes our feelings about a current situation trigger old unresolved feelings from the past.This year I came home four times from college and he was in town every single time.After I went back to campus each time Mom said, ‘I never get to see you! When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.