Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.
In a previous article, I put forward the notion that individuals were not "afraid" to date—rather they simply did not have sufficient incentive to do so (see here).
This week, I will discuss how that double-bind for women may have resulted in a double-bind for men as well.
This may explain why we are so clueless at what we are doing in bed, but we act like we know. It's nice to hear nothing but your lover's breath against the backdrop of the evening or early morning.
We are devolving into primates, losing the ability to even discuss our own behavior using words and sentences. I know this term really offends a lot of people nowadays, but truly, fellas, let’s man up. I’m married now, but I was once a part of this hazy, undefined dating-but-not-dating scene. I never found any happiness in it, because nobody does. I was a wimpy manchild, afraid of meaningful commitments, afraid of being alone, afraid of rejection, afraid of the future, afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being loved.
The average single American man is now relegated to grunts and shrugs and ‘whatevers’ and ‘you knows’ when pressed to have a conversation about his dating habits. Or his whatever habits, because whatever, you know? Or would you ideally prefer it if you could distinguish between your relationship with her and your relationship with your friend Steve?
I hadn’t seen him in a while, so I asked about the status of his love life. See, I’d been floating like aimless debris through an ocean of cloudy intentions and half-heartedness, until I grew up and realized that romance isn’t a game, and most women aren’t frivolous bimbos. I had several failed dating ‘situations’ before I got married.
He told me that he’s currently ‘hanging out’ with someone. Everyone is so confused that they don’t even know what words to use when describing their relationships. We used words like ‘marriage.’ We were clear and convicted and purpose driven. They want men who know what they want and aren’t afraid to verbalize it. Some collapsed within months, others took considerably longer.