I felt the pressure: The future of my people was at stake! The school was arty, musical, nerdy, and had a substantial Jewish population. Even though I no longer felt outside the norm, I still had trouble getting dates … Every Jewish woman I asked out on a date rejected me.I resolved that I would only go out with Jewish girls. I attributed this to the fact that I was kind of nerdy: My extra-curricular activities included musical theater, video games, and Dungeons & Dragons, not exactly the types of things that made a guy popular with the ladies. I had numerous opportunities, on the other hand, to date non-Jewish women.They can say what they like about Germany, but democratic America is far from wholeheartedly accepting the Jews.Remember that Ben couldn't join a fraternity at his university.I was a "nice Jewish girl" looking to date a "nice Jewish boy" when I met him.He was a nice secular non-Jew from Seattle whose religious identity was rooted in memories of hanging stockings on Christmas and eating chocolate on Easter.In several places in the Jewish Bible, there are relations which appear to be intermarriages - for example, King David is described as marrying the daughter of the king of Geshur, (PLease note - this is not what Nehemaih cited refers to. refers to not buying grain on the Sabbath and forgiving debts in the 7th year.
He had known other girls and, as I was twenty-five before we married, I had had my share of other men's attention.In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.After one date, though, I would beat myself up mentally for breaking my rule, and I’d avoid making second dates.There is no reference to excommunication or dissolving such marriages either in chapter 10, 13 or elsewhere in Nehemiah.Forced divorce and excommunication of foreign women previously married to the Jews of Israel does ocur in Ezra chapter 10.If the Jew can't go to class, then s/he should at least be willing and able to discuss the classes and support the study ― even read some of the books.Years ago, Egon Mayer, a Queens College sociologist and maven on conversion, spoke at my congregation and said that the main reason given by non-Jews for not converting is that they were never asked.The principle is essentially a general one, and the deuteronomic explanation doesn't clarify why it singles out the Canaanites in particular; one of the Talmudic writers took it to forbid all intermarriage with non-Jewish nations.with a Midianite woman (not from the seven Canaanite nations); this took place at a time when foreign (Moabite) women were inducing the Jews to perform idolatry. Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding. I was only able to relax around non-Jewish women, because I didn’t feel the same pressure; that’s how I met, and fell in love with, my wife.Consequently our marriage was not the hasty, impassioned leap of two people soaring on the Icarian wings of a first love.That which was between us was calm as the night, deep as the sea; in the light of it we both knew that forever afterwards he would look upon other women, and I upon other men, as pale wraiths. 23, 2009, on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. *** Soon after my bar mitzvah, just as I was discovering my interest in the opposite sex, I began to be bombarded with information about intermarriage—about how one in every two Jewish people would marry a non-Jew and how more than half of the children of those unions would not be raised Jewish.