From the outside, we may look the same as our single comrades (with no children,) but the insides of our lives, minds and hearts are vastly different.Single moms don't have the same free will as other single women.My marriage ended two years ago, and it took me awhile to get my head around dating again — but now that I have, I see that I'm doing life in reverse.As I'm dipping a toe in the dating pool, friends are becoming parents.Innate male prejudice is responsible for these problems, the activists say.Managements (mostly malem, but the occasional female too) insist that the gap is illusory and that work environments have nothing to do with it; it is the women who choose to put personal lives before careers and drop out. But not in the way Cheryl Sandberg, who exhorts working women to "lean in", or Satya Nadella, who advised women to rely on "karma" for pay hikes, would have wanted you to understand the issue.Traditionally men view the introduction of children to be a big step.When you have talked about exclusivity and are both sure you share the same vision for the future of your relationship, then you can introduce the kids.

What to do instead: Time is the best measure of knowing when to introduce the children.

I felt like a flake -- not a strong, capable mother who was going teach her children to succeed despite the obstacles ahead.

When I was married, we were just like all the other families: our own tiny self-sufficient universe.

Even if my husband and I didn't get along, we were both still deeply invested in the minutiae of running our family.

Then one day, my best friend and co-parent was gone from my life. Okay, that was an exaggeration -- but it's how it felt at the time, and it prompted me into action.